Waiting for Pyro
A fire academic reimagines Lucky's speech from Waiting for Godot
For those of you who think science makes sense, may I present the following. With apologies to Samuel Beckett.
POZZO DI SCIENZA: Think, sus domesticus!
IMPROBABLY POSITIVE: Given the knowledge gaps with respect to wildfire and risk and climate change as uttered forth in the public works of Clarke etaletaletaletal with a holistic approach to local knowledge quantified by the weight of evidence more trucks and planes and hoses extending through modified forms of polycentric governance excepting the previous former examples of Bayesian samples frequented after Bonferroni’s erroneous inflection notwithstanding the collected works of Penman et al in the age of fire denoted by the Pyrocene after Penman et al aka the polycene in the anthropopyrogeoecobiocene coined marginally with radical transitions between serious implications for species at risk of a level of insignificance not seen or heard or felt with widespread agreement and growing interest extending to conclusions robust yet understated by a factor beyond the boundary of the study area of field sites largely restricted due to Covid notwithstanding the works of Clarke et al demonstrating climate’s effects underscored by a narrow focus on a nuanced quantification of the broader trend towards values distributed throughout the fire perimeter sensed correctly with a return interval overgrown by confidence enclosed by 2mm margins and a word limit of 1,000 characters insuperable inoperable inarguable inalienable unavoidable available on request impermissible acknowledgements adequately but transparently funded by former colleagues with corresponding affiliations as found in carryover champion Clarke et al who am I I was born in 1985 with an H-index in the 5th and 95th percentile field weighted and absorbed by knowledge translated aided and abetted and decayed with remnants identified by paleoleoleoleoleologists Clarke etaletaletaletal who offer practical advice for decision makers seeking to kill and coexist over the next three years by filling knowledge gaps we cannot fail to reach the inescapable exit from the pyrocene abridged by inhomogenous data available for consultation after rising levels of carbon dioxide and potassium monoxide cinder plumes undetectable where uncertain levels abound unbounded by infinite confidence but checked and confirmed following the protocols of Clarke Bradstock and Penman et al until the cessation of semester not including public holidays or concessional leave but subject to the terms and significant impacts of climate change upon the hard of hearing the inequitable loss of vision and profound inestimable societal collapse notwithstanding ecosystem services as embellished in the footnotes of history relegated to the supplementary material unreviewed yet astounding findings could upend and overturn radical approaches to coexisting and implementing practices underpinned by the font and marginalia proposed by Clarke et al notwithstanding the word counts as required following untold impacts and particulate matter and columns of smoke causing Clarke etaletaletaletal to alert decision makers to one not two but three potential overnight detections and unprecedented senseless ramifications unfolding from values adhered to by a systematic destruction of both Kuhnian and Popperian hypotheses notwithstanding effects postulated by Clarke Penman and Bradstock et al synthesising a multifaceted approach disciplined by minds at ease with complexity and leadership training re-establishing a more natural regime of outstanding deviations from an interannual precipitous decline commemorated in the predictions of Penman et al but later shown to have underestimated the effects… the charcoal sediments … radiant heat …Clarke …unfinished …
POZZO DI SCIENZA: His safety glasses!
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